"had a blind woman (who somehow was) standing on stage, come over  to monitor beach to tell me how terrible the mix was. just really awful.worst mix of any band shes ever heard. I asked her to kindly take her seat back in the audience where…"

"Here's a sample for you:   Problem with the Sennheiser CX 300 Consumer Headphones Have a pair of CX 300 IIs. After washing the rubber buds in water the headphones stopped working. They didn\'t stop completely, the volume is just…"

"I prefer the band to play more quietly, esp the guys/gals with the instruments :-)"

"I'm mixing a band and they were doing an instrumental. Someone came up to me and told me they couldn't hear the vocals. I said "neither can I, Tell the singer sing louder.  "

"on a digi desk..."well this here screen is Cable TV for watching the ballgames and The History Channel on and off during the show, I get bored sometimes".  The best I got though was one time a guy walked up and watched over my…"

"Might Cry....that's freaking great.  So then you got the inevitable, how stupid do you think I am, look?  What's really scary is some corporation is paying that person for those powers of observation."

"On a club gig: Drunken Girl (slurred speech): "Scuse me. Can you play a song for me?" Me: "You'll have to ask the band." Drunken Girl: "There's a band?" Me: "Yep. Turn around. That's them 50 feet…"

"I used to reserve two channels at the end of the console and label them "Master MIx". I would let the producer/promoter/manager/whomever have "full control" over the band's final sound in the room. I had one band's…"

"Hey I resemble that remark....except for the hard to party with...that hurts."

"Brian, The best blue hair comment is when the little old lady sends her husband to the sound tent to complain about it being too loud. I then ask "Where are you sitting?". He then points and sure enough...3' in front of one of the…"

"Tell them to think of the mic like a flashlight. That is something they can understand."

"This could grow into a witches grimoire on recipes for mixing punters. I know we all love writing books. I'm a little bit evil, I've been known to play tricks with monitors on inexperienced performers to change a performance (bar shows,…"

"SOUND 101 Course Outline. 1. The Knobs Lie. 1a. The Knobs are Created by Liars Just Like Us. 1b. The Knobs obviously have never seen this place before. 2.The knobs keep competing with each other. 3.The knobs are hard to party with. 3a. Don't we…"

"yup happened again to me the other night... and what was surprising was... it was a European asking the question.. usually Chinese people just stand there with a stunned look...as I say...it's a toaster..."

"www.thisgigsucks.com lib the lamper for styx runs the site and sells all kinds of oddball shirt sayings. most pretty good too. some are offensive so beware."